In the End

There’s two kinds of people, those who try and those who don’t
And only time will tell which one you were
And it’s alright if you don’t know which way you’re gonna go
Just don’t be afraid to feel it all

*Keep on Wanting - The Fray*

It sucks sometimes. Feels like you're doing well, everythings great...then the past creeps in. I know it's impossible to just forget things that happen, but moving on is possible. right?

so why does it bother me so much? its not like i can take anything back or change what i did...feeling like this sucks. some days its easier to let go, to keep the negativity at bay. other days its overwhelming and i absolutely hate myself. 

in the end the only person i can blame is myself. and the only person that can help me through it is me. i just need to be unafraid to feel the shame, hurt, and pain.

Two years later

it's been two years since my last post.
To say a lot has changed is an understatement.
Recently I've found a new job, and am finishing up my second year of a masters degree.

so where did the time go? i find myself asking that question at least once a week. the 2013 was less than a positive year for me. i found myself getting into stupid relationships, disappointing people who had stood beside me my entire life...definitely one of the darker times of my life. luckily i was blessed with hitting rock bottom...ironic i know.

i've come along way since then. working a great job, helping kiddos again. better relationships with family and friends. and then there's Jason. words can't express just how amazing he is. it's been about four months but i feel like i've known much longer than that. i owe a lot of my new found confidence and happiness to him.

i really want to get back into the blogging. even if no-one reads it. putting my emotions on pages...it helps.