C Breezy

I have a new obsession...and his name is Chris Brown.

Mmm, enough said think. :)

Serenity

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.”
--Gloria Naylor

No explanation needed...same story, different day. I miss my best friend and I wish our relationship had never changed. I wish I could have been honest from the get go. Maybe things would be different. Maybe doesn't get me anywhere...Maybe doesn't change anything.

I've found myself turning to the prayer of serenity lately...trying to find answers and an understanding of why my life has gone down the path it has. I never mean to complain or burden anyone with upsetting stories or sad moods...maybe I'm just overreacting about all that's happened or reading into it. Others would probably say my life's not that bad, and I know that countless people are suffering more than myself. Part of me can't help but wonder sometimes though...wonder why it had to be this way, why I feel like everyday is a fight to keep myself together, why i only feel like myself when I'm alone. I'm still learning and I know that God has a reason for everything...my sister and dad tell me that God only gives me more burdens because He knows I can handle it. I can't disagree...but that's putting a lot of faith in me....faith I'm not sure I deserve.

 

Don't make me wait....

Angel eyes why do you look back
And all this time how did you know that
I'd be here, I'd be here, I'd be here
In this world all alone

So don't make me wait, honey
Don't make me say it out loud
Don't hesitate no honey
Or it will all fall down

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Curiosity

“Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance.”

--William Wirt

I've always heard the curiosity killed the cat scenario...but what about those days when the curiosity about something you always wanted, but never had the guts to go for? Then somehow the opportunity takes you by surprise, and makes you question why fate never dealt you that hand. Why you didn't go somewhere else, why you were with someone else, why you convinced yourself things worked out as they should have. 

I guess that's life. Curiosity is the driving force and makes life much more interesting; it gives us the memories we'll tell our children and grandchildren about; it gives us passion.

** I have no special talents, I am just passionately curious. **

--Einstein

Sunday Funday

"you can never live a perfect day without doing something for someone who can never repay you"

-- John Wooden.

John Wooden definitely had it right. He's one of the most inspirational men I've ever had the pleasure to read about and his words keep me going in my field.

I got to spend the day laying by the pool, going to mass, and getting all my laundry done...its my only day off each week and I relax as much as possible! Well, the weekend is almost over. I start my job working with Emotionally Disturbed kids tomorrow for the rest of the summer...nervous doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now. I love kids, don't get me wrong...and I honestly feel like this is my calling. Helping people that can't help themselves and giving them the hope they've spent years looking for or building in themselves. 

My fears and nerves come in failing...I don't know the diagnosis for any of the children except the young lady I will be providing one on one service for. She was only enrolled in our program for a week or so before being hospitalized again. I've been told she's a tough cookie but I'm hoping we will survive the summer together and that I can truly make a difference in her life. 

Soooo, wish me luck!

This Time Around.

And I have seen what holding on can take away

If it’s the past you love then that’s where you can stay

--For You and Your Denial, Yellowcard

It's weird...you hold on to something you thought really meant something for so long that you're terrified to let it go. Then when you do finally just let it go, you find yourself relieved; like a giant weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you can actually smile and go through the day without being sad for once, without giving a damn for once. It feels so good, I can't even describe it. I'll always miss part of you, the good parts...the happy parts. But I'm done trying so hard to keep a friendship...if you want to see me see me, if you want to talk then talk. It's on you this time.

I guess I owe a lot to my friends...to Nicky and Travs in particular. Nicky always reminds me that he loves me and helps me not fall victim to the lies. Travs takes the edge off, tells me my fears are crazy and lets his goofiness distract me. They both never fail to make me smile. I don't know how I've gone so long without seeing Nicky...19 hours of separation absolutely sucks. And I haven't seen Travs yet either...Beedizzle I don't know how you do this. Your boyfriend is one of my best friends and if I hate it I can't imagine how you feel :(

I'm so relieved right now I feel like I could conquer the world. Work is great, roomies are great, friends are great...i forgot how much I enjoy smiling.

Hang You Up

Sometimes...there are no words. 

I cannot hold this anymore
my hands are tired of only waiting to let go
and I am waiting still
I used to know which way to turn
you were a light inside a tunnel in my head
I try to follow still

its hard to see you we are older now
and when I find you you just turn around
this is a black and white of you I found
I hang you up and then I pull you down

no more apologies from me
my arms are tired of picking up what I put down
you're all I think of still
I'm gonna miss you every day
I turn my back on anyone who won't believe
and it gets lonely still

its hard to see you we are older now
and when I find you you just turn around
this is a black and white of you I found
I hang you up and then I pull you down

I get lost sometimes
another year flies by
but I know if I try
memories of the light in your eyes
can take me back in time

its hard to see you we are older now
and when I find you you just turn around
this is a black and white of you I found
I hang you up and then I pull you down

I don't hear music anymore
my ears are tired of all the pictures in the words
you are in them still

--Yellowcard, Hang You Up