And I have seen what holding on can take away
If it’s the past you love then that’s where you can stay
--For You and Your Denial, Yellowcard
It's weird...you hold on to something you thought really meant something for so long that you're terrified to let it go. Then when you do finally just let it go, you find yourself relieved; like a giant weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you can actually smile and go through the day without being sad for once, without giving a damn for once. It feels so good, I can't even describe it. I'll always miss part of you, the good parts...the happy parts. But I'm done trying so hard to keep a friendship...if you want to see me see me, if you want to talk then talk. It's on you this time.
I guess I owe a lot to my friends...to Nicky and Travs in particular. Nicky always reminds me that he loves me and helps me not fall victim to the lies. Travs takes the edge off, tells me my fears are crazy and lets his goofiness distract me. They both never fail to make me smile. I don't know how I've gone so long without seeing Nicky...19 hours of separation absolutely sucks. And I haven't seen Travs yet either...Beedizzle I don't know how you do this. Your boyfriend is one of my best friends and if I hate it I can't imagine how you feel :(
I'm so relieved right now I feel like I could conquer the world. Work is great, roomies are great, friends are great...i forgot how much I enjoy smiling.
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