after all this time...still has my heart. i can't stop thinking about how much I want to play; how much being on that field makes sense when the rest of the world doesn't. i can't walk away...but i still don't know what to do. how am i supposed to approach this with my parents? with my family? i've accepted the consequences...but i don't know if they can. plus all my friends that want to see me smiling and alive and my bubbly self. feels like every time i turn around i disappoint someone.
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