Why Wait

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what people think you are." --John Wooden

After another long week I'm glad the weekend is here. This week has been the precursor to what next week has in store for me...it's finals time. This week hasn't been all bad. I did get a new job and signed up for training that will pay me exponentially better and i can't wait. Plus...i got my second year of Offensive Player of the Year recognition for soccer.

With all that good news you'd think i'm having a good time right? wrong, again. While i'm thankful for the award...it cropped up feelings i'm still trying to hide. Not being able to play still kills me on a daily basis and no one understands just how much physical as much as emotion and mental pain it causes. then of course, we have the bitches. I get it, i know they don't like me but shit...running off and telling my boyfriend your lousy opinion of me? come on, even you should be above that.

I chose the quote at the beginning of this post because I had that little ah-ha moment after talking to Nick about everything last night. I shouldn't be wasting my time on their pathetic opinions or ideas...i and those who care about me know how i really am. my character cannot be called into question unless I allow it. So now i'm thinking, why wait? why wait for anyone but God or myself to tell me who I am, where i'm going, or what I'm worth. Why wait for the opinions of those I won't communicate with or see as soon as i graduate and walk through those doors. I'm over and done with it.

It's amazing how much you can learn from someone in such a short time.

love and miss you always Nicky Garcia.