Wasted...

well...i've failed. i spent the last two weeks holding onto the last hope I had to possibly play soccer again...and it's gone. for good. I am at a loss of what to do...where to go. all i want to do is be alone but it's impossible. not to mention my granddaddy passed away and this has been one of the worst weeks of my life. wish i could pack up my bags and leave.

i feel like i've wasted so much time fighting for this dream and this goal...spent so much time dedicating so much time and effort to the game that's meant to much to me for seventeen years. people say to move on, that the future holds so much more but...how do i know. soccer is everything to me...it always has been. i don't want to walk away from it, how can i?

 
i wish i could do it all again. i wish i could start over. i wish none of this had ever happened.