Hello World.

*What we do in life, echoes in eternity*
--Gladiator.

I've always considered myself a normal nineteen almost twenty year old girl, but in the world around me I feel nothing but different. I've chosen to live in the service of others, making myself readily available to help anyone and everyone I can. I've made my heart big enough to fit even those who treat me poorly. It's cliche to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders and then complain...but that is not my intention. If I could think of a few words to describe myself...broken, lost, lonely all come to mind. I don't care for sympathy nor do I want any. This is just my life.

Growing up I always had my family by my side, and it's no different now. I've been lucky enough to have so much love between the six of us, and I know I can call and talk to any sibling or either parent about anything and everything. Growing up I had one friend I would die for, Gage. I still love him and don't have a single memory from Arkansas without him. Nicky got me through freshmen year of college and even if he's nineteen hours away, I consider him one of my very best friends. Travis and Kevin have been my support here lately, Travis being the sweet side who lets you know life goes on, and Kevin being the stubborn jerk that you can't help but love and vent to. I easily have the best roommate and wish she and I lived together last year, things would've been simpler, happier.

It seems like my life is good, that I should be happy and carefree...but where there is light, there is also dark. I made mistakes, people walked away. It's taken two years but I've come to the realization that I do not fit here. Call it what you'd like but my life, my mind, and my heart were not meant to settle here. There will be a point when I have to move on, when I have to say goodbye.

Until then, this blog will serve as my outlet. For people to learn what I really have to say, what I am really feeling.