What to do...what to do.

I lost you. You lost me. We lost each other. We lost our friendship. I lost you, because of you.

Yes, I've already written about this. Yes, this is yet again about my lousy ex best friend. Yes, I miss him. I hate the fact that we aren't friends. He knows secrets about me that no one else does, and has been there for me on my worst days. The fact that he isn't around bothers me...the fact that he can just throw it away and not care kills me. It's not fair that I am blaming myself for this, that i feel like I have to apologize...and I do think I have every right to be mad. But it still feels like something is missing. I'm not asking for anything special, I just want my best friend back.